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Cheeseburger In Paradise
 
Tried to amend my carnivorous habits.
Made it nearly seventy days,
Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower
seeds,
Drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up
rays.
But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams
Some kind of sensuous treat.
Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulgur wheat,
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat.
Cheeseburger is paradise.
Heaven on earth with an onion slice.
Not too particular, not too precise.
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.
I like mine with lettuce and tomato,
Heinz Fifty-seven and French fried potatoes.
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer.
Well, good God Almighty, which way do I steer
For my cheeseburger in paradise.
Verse 2:
Heard about the old time sailor men,
They eat the same thing again and again;
Warm beer and bread they say could raise the
dead.
Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn.
But times have changed for sailors these days.
When I'm in port I get what I need;
Not just Havanas or banana or daiquiris,
But that American creation on which I feed!
Cheeseburger is paradise medium rare with
mustard'd be nice
Not too particular, not too precise
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draught beer
Well, good god Almighty which way do I steer
For a cheeseburger in paradise
Makin' the best of every virtue and vice.
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice
To get a cheeseburger in paradise;
To be a cheeseburger in paradise.
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.
He Went to Paris
He went to Paris looking for answers
To questions that bothered him so
He was impressive, young and aggressive
Saving the world on his own.
But the warm Summer breezes
The French wines and cheeses
Put his ambition at bay
And Summers and Winters
Scattered like splinters
And four or five years slipped away.
Then he went to England, played the piano
And married an actress named Kim
They had a good life, she was a good wife
Bore him a young son named Jim.
And all of the answers and all of the questions
He locked in his attic one day
'Cause he liked the quiet clean country living
And twenty more years slipped away.
Well the war took his baby, the bombs killed his
lady
And left him with only on eye
His body was battered, his world was shattered
And all he could do was just cry.
While the tears were falling, he was recalling
The answers he never found
So he hopped on a freighter, skidded the ocean
And left England without a sound.
Now he lives in the islands, fishes the piling's
And drinks his green label each day
He's writing his memoirs and losing his hearing
But he don't care what most people say.
Through eighty-six years of perpetual motion
If he likes you he'll smile then he'll say
Jimmy, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic
But I had a good life all the way.
He went to Paris looking for answers
To questions that bother him so.
Fins
She came down from Cincinnati.
It took her three days on the train.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
hoped to see the sun again.
But now she lives down by the ocean.
She's takin' care to look for sharks.
They hang out in the local bars,
And they feed right after dark.
Chorus
Can't you feel 'em circlin' (closin'in) honey?
Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and your the only bait in town.
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and your the only girl in town.
She's savin' up all of her money.
Wants to head south in May;
Maybe roll in the sand with a rock'n'roll man,
Somewhere down Montserrat way.
But the money's good in the season;
Helps to lighten her load.
Boys keep her high as the months go by.
She's gettin' postcards from the road.
Chorus
Sailed off to Antigua.
It took her three days on a boat.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
Maybe keep her dreams afloat.
But now she feels like a remora,
'cause the school's still close at hand.
Just behind the reef are the big white teeth
of the sharks that can swim on the land.
Chorus
Son Of A Sailor
As the son of a son of a sailor,
I went out on the sea for adventure,
Expanding their view of the captain and crew
Like a man just released from indenture.
As a dreamer of dreams and a travelin' man,
I have chalked up many a mile.
Read dozens of books about heroes and crooks,
And I've learned much from both of their styles.
Son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a
sailor.
Son of a gun; load the last ton
One step ahead of the jailer.
Now away in the near future, southeast of
disorder,
You can shake the hand of the mango man
As he greets you at the border.
And the lady she hails from Trinidad,
Island of the spices.
Salt for your meat and cinnamon sweet,
And the rum is for all your good vices.
Haul the sheet in as we ride on the wind that our
Forefathers harnessed before us.
Hear the bells ring as the tide rigging sings.
It's a son of a gun of a chorus.
Where it all ends I can't fathom, my friends.
If I knew, I might toss out my anchor.
So I'll cruise along always searchin' for songs,
Not a lawyer, a thief or a banker.
But a son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of
a sailor.
Son of a gun, load the last ton
One step ahead of the jailer
I'm just a son of a son, son of a son, son of a
son of a sailor
The sea's in my veins, my tradition remains.
I'm just glad I don't live in a trailer.
A Pirate Looks At Forty
Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,
Wanted to sail upon your waters
since I was three feet tall.
You've seen it all, you've seen it all.
Watch the men who rode you,
Switch from sails to steam.
And in your belly you hold the treasure
that few have ever seen, most of them dreams,
Most of them dreams.
Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don't thunder there's nothin' to
plunder
I'm an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.
I've done a bit of smugglin'
I've run my share of grass.
I made enough money to buy Miami,
But I pissed it away so fast,
Never meant to last, never meant to last.
I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few
leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin',
Got to go fishin', I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.
Instrumental
I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
And though I ran away, they'll come back one day.
And still could manage a smile
It just takes awhile, just takes awhile.
Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've
found
My occupational hazard being my occupations
just not around.
I feel like I've drowned,
Gonna head uptown.
Margaritaville
Nibblin' on sponge cake,
watchin' the sun bake;
All of those tourists covered with oil.
Strummin' my six string on my front porch swing.
Smell those shrimp--
They're beginnin' to boil.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville, *
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know it's nobody's fault.
Don't know the reason,
Stayed here all season
With nothing to show but this brand new tattoo.
But it's a real beauty,
A Mexican cutie, how it got here
I haven't a clue.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville,
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
Now I think,-- hell it could be my fault.
I blew out my flip flop,
Stepped on a pop top;
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.
But there's booze in the blender,
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.
Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin' for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame,
But I know, it's my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman
to blame, And I know it's my own damn fault.
* Original liner notes lists the line as "Wastin' away again in Margaritaville".
Come Monday
Headin' up to San Francisco
for the Labor Day weekend show,
I've got my hush-puppies on,
I guess I never was meant for
glitter rock and roll.
And honey I didn't know
that I'd be missin' so.
(Chorus)
Come Monday It'll be all right,
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight.
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
and I just want you back by my side.
Yes it's been quite a summer,
rent-a-cars and west bound trains.
And now your off on vacation,
somethin' you tried to explain.
And darlin' I love you so that's
the reason I just let you go.
Chorus
I can't help it honey,
your that much a part of me now.
Remember the night in Montana when
we said there'd be no room for doubt.
I hope your enjoyin' the scenery,
I know that it's pretty up there.
We can go hikin on Tuesday,
with you I'd walk anywhere.
California has worn me quite thin,
I just can't wait to see you again.
End Chorus
Changes In Latitudes, Changes In
Attitudes
I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year.
All of the faces and all of the places,
wonderin' where they all disappeared.
I didn't ponder the question too long;
I was hungry and went out for a bite.
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum,
and we wound up drinkin' all night.
It's those changes in latitudes,
changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the
same.
With all of our running and all of our cunning,
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes;
Nothing remains quite the same.
Through all of the islands and all of the
highlands,
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane
Reading departure signs in some big airport
Reminds me of the places I've been.
Visions of good times that brought
so much pleasure
makes me want to go back again.
If it suddenly ended tomorrow,
I could somehow adjust to the fall.
Good times and riches and son of a bitches,
I've seen more than I can recall...(to chorus)
I think about Paris when I'm high on red wine;
I wish I could jump on a plane.
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean.
God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Oh, yesterdays are over my shoulder,
So I can't look back for too long.
There's just too much to see waiting in front of
me,
and I know that I just can't go wrong
with these...(to chorus)
Why Don't We Get Drunk
I really do appreciate the fact you're sittin'
here
Your voice sounds so wonderful
But your face don't look too clear
So, Barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of
brew
Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw.
(Chorus)
Why don't we get drunk and screw
I just bought a waterbed filled up for me and you
They say you are a snuff queen, Honey, I don't
think that's true
So, why don't we get drunk and screw.
(Instrumental)
(Repeat chorus)
Pencil-Thin Mustache
Now they make new movies in old black and white,
With happy endings, where nobody fights,
So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage,
Honey, jump right up and show your age.
I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache,
the "Boston Blackie" kind, or a
two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket,
and an autographed piture of Andy Divine.
Oh, I remember bein' buck toothed and skinny
Writin' fan letters to Sky's niece Penny.
Oh, I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache,
then I could solve some mysteries too.
Oh it's Bandstand, Disneyland, growin up fast,
Drinkin' on a fake I.D.
And Rama of the jungle was everyone's Bawana,
But only jazz musicians were smokin marijuana.
Yeah, I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache,
then I could solve some mysteries too.
But then it's flat-top, dirty bop, copin' a feel'
grubbin on the living room floor;
They send you off to college to try to gain
a little knowledge,
But all you want to do is learn how to score.
Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear
underwear,
I don't go to church, and I don't cut my hair;
But I can goto movies and see it all there,
Just the way that it use to be.
That's why I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache
the "Boston Blackie" kind, or a
two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket,
And an autographed picture of Andy Divine.
Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be,
Maybe suave Eerol Flynn or the Sheik of Araby.
If I only had a pencil-thin mustache,
then I could do some cruising too.
Yeah, Brylcream, a little dab'll do yah,
Oh, I could do some cruising too.
Grapefruit-Juicy Fruit
Grapefruit
A bathing suit
Chew a little Juicy Fruit
Wash away the night
Drive-in
Guzzle gin
Commit a little mortal sin
It's good for the soul.
(Bridge)
And oh, it gets so damn lonely
When you're on the plane all alone
And if I had the money, Honey
I'd strap you in beside me
And never ever leave you
Leave you at home all alone and crying.
Ten speed
No need
My pick-up gets me where I please
Shuggin' sown the street.
But I'll be leavin'
In a little while
So close your eyes and I'll
Be back real soon
(Repeat bridge)
(Repeat first verse)
Boat Drinks
Boat drinks. Boys in the band ordered boat
drinks.
Visitors just scored on the home rink.
Everything seems to be wrong.
Lately, newspaper mentioned cheap airfare.
I've got to fly to Saint Somewhere.
I'm close to bodily harm.
Chorus
Twenty degress and the hockey games on.
Nobody cares; they are way too far gone,
screamin' "Boat drinks," somethin'
to keep them all warm.
This morning I shot six holes in my freezer.
I think I got cabin fever.
Somebody sound the alarm.
I'd like to go where the pace or life's slow.
Could you beam me somewhere, Mister Scott?
Any old place here on Earth or in space.
You pick the century and I'll pick the spot.
I know I should be leaving this climate.
I got a verse but can't rhyme it.
I gotta go where it's warm.
Boat drinks.
Waitress, I need two more boat drinks.
Then I'm headin south 'fore my dream shrinks.
I gotta where it's warm.
I gotta go where it's warm.
I gotta go where it's warm.
I gotta go where there ain't any snow,
where there ain't any blow,
'cause my fin sinks so low.
I gotta go where it's warm.
Volcano
Now, I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna
go
when the volcano blow.
Let me say it now,
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Ground, she movin' under me.
Tidal waves out on the sea.
Sulphur smoke up in the sky.
Pretty soon we learn to fly
Chorus
Let me hear you, now
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
Let me hear you now.
I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go
when the volcano blow.
My girl quickly say to me,
"Mon you better watch your feet."
Lava come down soft and hot.
"You better lava me now or lava me not.
Chorus
No time to count what I'm worth,
cause I just left the planet Earth.
Where I go I hope there's rhum.
Not to worry mon soon come.
Chorus
But I don't want to land in New York City,
I don't want to land in Mexico.
I don't want to land on no Three Mile Island;
I don't want to see my skin a-glow.
Don't want to land in Comanche Sky Park,
or in Nashville, Tennessee.
I don't want to land in no San Juan airport or
the Yukon Territory.
Don't want to land no San Diego.
Don't want to land in no Buzzards Bay.
I don't want to land on no Ayatolla.
I got nothin' more to say.
Chorus
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