I was going through some of my old emails and I found this gem. I'm not sure if I posted this way back when but here it is again:

Totally Awesome Kick Ass Motorcycle
> Date: 2008-09-22, 5:44PM CDT
>
>
> Motorcycle for sale:
>
>
> There comes a point in every mans life where he feels the
> need to pass down some history or perhaps a legacy, this
> time is now. For the low price of $700 you too may become a
> bad ass. This motorcycle is not just a way of
> transportation, it is a way of life. The side of the gas
> tank says Yamaha which loosely translates to "Kick Ass
> Stealth Ninja Motorcycle". I stole this motorcycle from
> Chuck Noris after I gave him a swift roundhouse kick to the
> face. I also broke off his arm and signed the title with it
> to my name from him so it is all legit and legally mine to
> sell now.
>
>
> Some of the lens covers on the turn signals are broken but
> if you think that stops me from turning you are sadly
> mistaken. The first rule I learned in the Mount Tokachi
> Ninja Training Camp was never tell your enemy what direction
> you intend to go. I have found this to be a excellent creed
> or motto to live life by.
>
>
> I will not admit to how many of the miles have been used
> for ninja missions however I can tell you that all of the
> 4693 miles are actual road miles.
>
>
> There are a few rusted parts on this bike, but that only
> shows everybody how bad ass you are and that if they were to
> question you they could be killed instantly. Most of the
> parts could be replaced with non rusty parts if you wanted
> to blend in to the common mortal and practice stealth skills
> by hiding in plain sight.
>
>
> This motorcycle has 4 speeds in the transmission and all of
> them are completely capable of causing instant death. I have
> known the common man to reach speeds of 70 mph I will not
> comment on the top speed that a skilled ninja rider may
> accomplish, this you shall find on your own.
>
>
> The gas cap on this motorcycle is locked by key, that tells
> possible gas thief's to screw off unless they are
> prepared to deal with a ninja ass kicking right to the face.
> If you are still uncertain of how bad ass this actually is
> you wont need to look further than the front fender complete
> with scull and cross bones, the graphics tell sissy gutless
> men to take off or be prepared for punches of lightning to
> pour down upon them.
>
>
> If you email me asking about being "firm" on the
> price I will tell you right now that I am NOT. $700 is only
> my starting price, you may want to pay me more after you
> would see it in person. If you think you can email me and
> ask me to sell if for less you could just as well save me
> the effort and punch yourself in the balls because that is
> what I might do and you are most likely a sissy and not
> worthy of this motorcycle. If you are from Africa and try to
> scam me do not waste my time because I will swim across the
> ocean and find you in your dirty hut and judo chop your face
> with an ultimate punch right to the face.
>
>
> I may email you more pictures if you need to see more.
> Ninja fighting weapons are not included.
>

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"I arm myself with punch lines and a big old water gun."

I've seen this before, not sure if it was here or not. Really funny though

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Follow me on Twitter! @joshdmartin

THAT is funny as hell....

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